Do any of you have goals for the New Year? I used to have goals when I was younger, but I was never successful with any of them. I’ve become a little cynical about these rituals. It seems to me that most of these goals are created as a punishment for character flaws you have developed over the past year. So rather than create goals for myself, I thought I might create goals for some of my characters.
ME:So Mag what are your goals for the year?
MAG: I’m going to find that damn Chaos Demon and gouge his beady little eyes out.
ME: Dagashi? Why would you want to do that?
MAG: He was going to leave me stuck up in that stupid cloud. Do you realize how far that jump is?
ME: What cloud, Mag?
MAG: Seriously? You wrote it, you stupid idiot. The cloud, where the Temple of the Gods floats above Terrahtu. What were you thinking? How does a building sit on top of the clouds anyways? You would think it would fall through. It’s bad enough you left me stuck inside Magneira for so many years. But then to leave me sitting there with no way to get down. I had to almost beg him to let me down. You know how I feel about begging.
ME:Really? Wow. Well I can always write you back into the box so to speak, if you’re having so many issues with my writing, Mag.
MAG: Watch it, woman. I’m not going back there ever again. I’ve got a dagger and I’m not afraid to use it.
ME: I’ve got a delete button and I know how to use it.
MAG: You wouldn’t dare.
ME: (sigh) So Mag. Is that the only goal you have for the upcoming year?
MAG: Well there was that one barbarian.
ME: Whatever floats your boat, Mag.
MAG: Hey it must float your boat too. You created him. Hey just a little side note for you. Perhaps next time you can make it last longer. Not that hot, fast, and heavy isn’t ok sometimes, I just think I deserve a little more time and attention.
ME: Well you seemed happy at the time. (rolling my eyes). So no goals to take over the world?
MAG: Pshaw! Of course there are. I’ll defeat Magneira yet. Just you wait. Are we done here? (Mag starts to examine her red painted nails, the boredom clear on her face).
As you can see Mag’s goals seem to be the same as usual. I don’t see her making resolutions to punish herself for being a bad girl the year before. If only we all could be so carefree.
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